Sunday, November 29, 2015

Skin Hunger

The epidermis is the largest organ of the human body comprising of about 24 square feet and weighs 6 pounds. A square inch of skin has (if accurate) 19 yards of nerve endings. Its impressively complex.
Now, when you hear "skin hunger" you might think: malnutrition. Skin needs vitamin D, E, oils, moisture, etcetera to be healthy. But what skin hunger refers to emotional starvation from lack of psychical touch.
( This article talks about how touch affects metabolism, kind a cool:

It's just like stomach hunger in the way that you don't know you're hungry until you're empty.

The sensation of skin hunger is hard to describe. When its at its worst it feels like the very surface of my skin sort of bristles or stings very subtly. A strange sort of ache almost. But this is a bodily sensation too, the muscles feel anxious but without energy, the heart feels clenched and lonely. 

 This is a pretty prevalent problem in the digital age. People don't need to physically communicate anymore. But what has resulted are young adults age 20+ who are emotionally starved because they can go months and years without meaningful human touch. Basically, no hugs. I read somewhere (you can look it up yourself) that there are hugging clubs where people go to get hugs because they are so deprived. One person acts as a life-hug-guard to make sure things stay appropriate.

As a single lady, this is a basic fact of life. I go to work and I sit alone in a small climate controlled room for 8 hours then go to a empty house and occupy myself with projects. At church I get to shake hands. Yippee. 
To remedy this I sometimes beg for back tickles from family.

To be clear, tickling is the gentle caress of the finger tips or nails not a distracted pat or rub that tapers off after thirty seconds.

One time while watching TV with my niece, her hair tickling my chin almost put me asleep because it felt so good.

I'd like to think snuggling with my fluffy kitty would help but its about as nourishing as hugging a fuzzy blanket. Apparently fur doesn't count. So when you see your loved ones be sure to give them good hugs, kisses, and caresses because it nourishes to the core.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

The Deprovert

Some people are a super nova of social energy. Like a swarm of puppies contained in the soul of a single person, they just have to meet everyone and be their friend. They're beloved by all and are sought out by head hunters for jobs.
And then there's the introverts.
And the introverts with depression. Lets call it a deprovert.
And then put a nova-person into the same room as a deprovert...
It sucks the deproverts soul right out leaving them in a whimpering huddle.
But that's worst case scenario. Don't get me started on a depressed/anxiety/introvert. Or Angstdropert.

A depressed introvert has finite emotional energy and in relationships that are emotionally depreciative a deprovert will inevitable withdraw for their own emotional health.

Dates are as bad as interviews if not worse because, as I mentioned in previous posts, the side effects can be guilt ridden.

At the beginning the deprovert is hopeful, engaging, throwing themselves out there trying to make it work.
But if it ain't jiving then the deprovert's emtional bank account is overdrawn. Or in other words, the two personalities simply didn't mesh and there was no emotional deposit.
After a series of unrewarding dates which leave average people un-phased, this is emotionally devastating for a deprovert.  They can spend months recovering. (or how ever long it takes for memories to fall off into the void.)

This is the Black Hole of dating, emotions get sucked right out of a person and never return. They are slowly regrown or nurtured back by supporting loved ones. (Warning, encouraging more dating before a deprovert is recovered is as good as sticking a vacuum hose up their nose and sucking out what little energy they recovered. They need your love more than suggestions.)
In these instances be kind, not helpful.