Wednesday, January 20, 2016

The Pit

I think this phase in my life can be compared to a pit.

Spent 7 years in college doing 15 hour school days (and a part time job) and graduated with good grades. Spent my whole life collecting skills, knowledge, cultivating strong work ethic. Then after struggling and struggling, I'm nearly thirty and I can't get a job that pays enough to live on my own. All my friends are either married or doing their own 15 hour school days so I never see them. My depression has come back with a vengeance, things look bleak economically, socially, morally, internationally, politically, and spiritually. I'm in a dark place that feels hopeless: thus a pit.

I know I'm not the only one in a dark place, this well may be the curse of my generation. Well meaning people look into the hole and try to give encouragement or self help books but none of it helps. Even spiritual sermons and messages feel patronizing to the indescribable pain and hopelessness we feel.
Basically, it all means nothing to someone who just needs a ladder.
Sometimes, it seems the people who could do the most good or help are the most flaky. They never keep their word, conveniently forget till you give up, or start a little then never finish. This has culminated into a big problem that has simply been chronic these days. People not keeping their word or being flakes. If people simply kept their commitments so much more good could be accomplished. If you're chronically flaky, stop making commitments you won't keep.

There are others who are pit dwellers themselves and are deep in pain and despair and can barely handle their own problems. But sometimes they contribute to the misery of others exponentially.

 Now, obviously, solving life is more complicated than this metaphor. In these cases, a solve all like a ladder doesn't exist. But sometimes a lot of little helps can do so much.
The little helps of course vary from person to person. The hard part is recognizing when hell yawned open under someone and swallowed. Some problems are so big we all feel helpless and feel nothing we can do will help. But sometimes, offering your mite can do more than can be understood. Making time for the lonely, keeping your word, keep an eye out for better jobs for them, help them with some of their basic domestics they've fallen behind on, if you're mechanically inclined help them with their car, lots of hugs, words of affirmation, or gestures of kindness. But it starts with awareness, keeping your word, and making time. All of which are in short supply in our society. But with a collective effort, rescues can be made.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

2 Fast 2 Bad

My grandparents had a saying: You can tell a man by the way he keeps his horse. Yeah, but you can also learn some things by the way he rides it.
I've had quite a few dates where guys were nice but they drove like maniacs. Your date shouldn't fear for their life once your foot hits the gas pedal.
I once dated a guy from another country who you could tell didn't know our traffic laws, I wondered if he was driving legally. I think he did at least five illegal u-turns just on the way to dinner with cars honking at him and stuff. Super nice guy though but I didn't want to get back in the car.

Another guy I dated wouldn't keep his eyes on the road.

Some guys' date jitters manifest behind the wheel in a hazardous way. 

Then some guys drove super slow ticking off everyone around them.

And then you get the classic problem of guys who have no idea where they are going, have not planned ahead, and drive frantically around and around trying to figure out where to go. When I get buckled into these situations I picture what a life time of back seat driving would be like with these guys.