A Confident Beetle

I watched Kubo and the Two Strings a little bit ago with some siblings and aside from the mind boggling stop motion animation the biggest thing that impressed me was the comedic relief Beetle. A samurai warrior who was cursed by spiteful deities and suffers from amnesia and trauma that provokes him to hilarious behavior. What impressed me about this unfortunate character was his self-confidence. No matter how abrasive his traveling companion Monkey was he was totally un-phased by it.

I’m afraid the charming Mathew McConaughey had me smitten with this ridiculous character.

Not that I’d ever treat anyone as rudely as Monkey did but MAN! What I would give for a guy with that level of self-confidence. No need to flaunt his ego, nothing to prove, un-threatened, comfortable with himself. That was so darn attractive I almost cried because this characteristic probably doesn’t exist in reality.

The most demeaned demographic now a days seems to be white males. They’re portrayed in the media as bumbling, sex addicted, vulgar, under educated, sexist, and morons.  Sadly, our society has been helping to fulfill that image rather than giving them a nobler standard. Their gender role in society and in the family unit is being dissolved and less defined seeming to leave them a bit adrift and unfocused. At least this seems to be the development among my dating options from my little corner of observation. I’m sure plenty would beg to differ.

So if my observation is remotely true, it’s no wonder guys are so insecure, and an insecurity leads to some very unattractive behavior and over-compensation. (My biggest pet peeve: loud, smoke belching, ego-trucks.)

What I want to know is how on earth can that self-confidence and humility be cultivated in my future sons?

Gotta Dim to Date?

One time I vented my frustration on how fragile all my dates seemed to be. They scared off like a skittish deer, more so if I ended up elaborating on my skills and accomplishments. The list isn’t huge but it seems enough to make their masculinity feel threatened.

My listener suggested that I withhold details of my aspirations until further in the relationship.

 This has felt double edged to me because if I talk too little of myself they also seem to lose interest. A significant number of my skills I’ve acquired are for the sake of attracting and benefiting a future spouse, not to compete against them. So in that light why would I want a companion so insecure that I have to wad myself up just so they can feel better about themselves?