Prehistoric Monster Syndrome

Eve was told she would forever bear children in sorrow.By sorrow did they mean HULK?

Some women suffer from PMS more than others and I'm afraid that mine is bad enough that I can personify these moods. What's worse, is a few poor guys have had the misfortune of going out with me during these hazardous two week mood mutations.

I'm a huge fan of movies; my favorite parts of movies is a well made villain. The more terrifying or daunting a villain, the more impressive the hero that defeats them.

But, in the back of my mind, I frequently find that I can compare my involuntary mood swings to these theatrical villains. The aforementioned personifying of moods. Then, put these villains on a date with some poor unsuspecting guy and, well....

PMS can completely alter a woman's personality and even appearances just with that wicked chemistry. It's a literal Miss. Jekyll and Miss. Hyde. When I'm hit with these moods of nastiness, sometimes I try to use the more logical side of my brain to at least be cordial but it probably comes across as cold and calculated.

I often despair because I feel like a ticking bomb that nature made.
Ever been in a car wreck? The sickening dread and anxiety that feels like a lead brick dropped in your chest? Then soak a heavy mattress and carry it around, then imagine it in your chest. Then add a general disgust for planet earth and a hair trigger temper followed by agonizing stabbing pains in your abs, back, and general pelvic area. Then do that for two weeks out of every month.
See if you can resist responding to people with death ray.

I have diligently tried to treat this chemical warfare. Sometimes large doses of Vitamin D andCalcium then Magnesium, Potassium, iron, chromium and evening primrose help but results are inconsistent. So until I can master PMS I simply cannot date when the HULK is loose.

WARNING: Gaming is NOT Impressive

I met a nice guy at church who told me his life ambition was to become a professional gamer.

I've heard every argument to the benefits of gaming. I'm still not convinced. Because basically what it really all boils down to is gaming is a life substitute, an escape. And not a very healthy one in any respect.

I show interest in it for the sake of friends and family because they enjoy it and I care about their interests. But I don't want to marry someone invested in it and here is why:

If you compare generations that never had video games to the ones that do. There is a very distinct difference between initiative, work ethic, life style, spirituality, and character.
I've watched the long term negative effects unfold in the lives of friends and family and I have yet to witness a positive effect. This is a twenty-five year observation.

I don't know the opinions of other women on gaming but when I look at a guy and he says his past time is gaming, I imagine what a marriage with that would be like:

Variations of this pop into my head every time.
In the same duration of life that my friends and I lived, while they gamed I learned how to play violin, piano, bind hand made books, sew, read countless books, create countless pieces of art, compose music, served others, went to college, put money in savings, learned how to maintain a vehicle, had consistent jobs, and many other things. My friends and I suffer from variations of depression and anxiety. Before I was medicated, depression for me has been so severe I suffered brief periods where I couldn't function. But I still lived a productive life without resorting to gaming to escape. Often artwork was my escape, its side effect was entertaining others.

I am certainly not naive to gaming. I played plenty of Mario Cart, Super Mario, Super Smash Bros, Star Fox, Halo, Zelda, and Star Craft, with friends and family as a kid. But I eventually stopped completely.
Because of what family and friends have shown and told me about it since, I've had entire in depth conversations with people on games that I have never seen nor played and yet people are shocked when they learn I have never seen nor played any of the games we had just spoken of. I know what is in these games, how they are produced, the stories, the goals, I have even participated a tiny bit in making a student made video game. I am well educated on them.

So my total disgust with gaming is no secret when I see what its done to people. So why would I want a husband who's dedicated significant portions of his life to a GAME and gained nothing?
To me its a show of lack of prioritization, discipline, and lost potential.
It is not a life skill, you can't put it on a resume, its not attractive, and it has little value in real life.

If I'm going to weather tough times with a man in matrimony, I can be choosy on this.