Friday, October 9, 2015

The Wicked Ex-Wife of the West and Jacob Marley.

Divorce is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. I try not to judge a guy that's gotten a divorce because I know very good people who have had the tragedy of going through one. So I decided to date a guy who revealed that he was divorced by briefly mentioning his kid. We didn't discuss it prior to the date and I didn't want it to be the subject of our date, the important feature was him and would I like him?
He picks me up, he's funny, vibrant, good manners, dressed nice. So far so good. We go to dinner and talk about our favorite things and have a nice time. But for me, that thing we didn't talk about was there leering at me.
The question of the wicked ex-wife of the West and Jacob Marley. Was it him or her or both that was the problem? Was she this hag and he was the poor unfortunate soul that would always have her to haunt him? Was he negligent of his role? Had he been the unkind one? Obviously the reasons are as diverse as there are species of munchkins and flying monkeys. But since I'm dating to find my mate these are essential things to ask. Because if I did fall for this guy what would I have to help him contend with?
Then of course the poor kid torn between them. If I came into this kid's life I would never and wouldn't want to replace his mother. But this fact, I often feel like, would hinder my ability to contribute to the well being of a step child if he chose to use it.
 I could see this poor guy covered with heavy chains that I felt inadequate to relieve. Aside from the fact he made me feel like a giraffe he was very nice but he could sense my reluctance in spite of my efforts to keep my concerns buried. He took me home, was equally kind in his send off and he left and I felt guilt like usual.
But I did make an honest effort to not let his past cloud my judgement but the fact we never discussed it is what, I think, left too much to a VERY active imagination.

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